Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2017

Published:

December 24, 2019

Trump Gives Intelligence Agencies Their Daily Briefing

Bloodied, Bruised John Kerry Emerges Victorious At Kickboxing Tournament In Bangkok Prison

SeaWorld Café Introduces New 5-Pound Orca Burger–Eating Challenge

You People Made Me Give Up My Peanut Farm — By Jimmy Carter

Explanation Of Board Game Rules Peppered With Assurances It Will Be Fun

Nation’s Stomach Ulcers Predict Trump Administration Will Provide Opportunities For Unlimited Growth In 2017

Prison Now Allowing Death Row Inmates To Receive Weekly Visitors Throughout Executions

Roger Goodell Lays Wreath At National Football League Cemetery In Super Bowl Tradition

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

87% Of Loud Crashing Noises Are Nothing, Report Top Experts From Other Room

Completely Sober Employee Still Embarrassing Self At Company Party

Man’s Genetic Predisposition For Heart Disease No Match For 10 Half-Assed Push-Ups He Does Couple Times A Week

Report: You To Learn Names Of 3 Reprehensible Public Officials This Week

Mike Pence Asks Waiter To Remove Mrs. Butterworth From Table Until Wife Arrives

Sweating, Shaking Pharmaceutical CEO Says He Can Stop Profiting Off Opioid Epidemic Anytime He Wants

Mom Locked In Infinite Loop Of Purchasing, Returning Items From Lord & Taylor

U.S. Funneling Arms To Dissident Angel Group In Effort To Topple God

Gorsuch Nervous About Showering In Front Of Other Supreme Court Justices

Mom Figures It About Time To Sit Down Adolescent Daughter And Explain How Weight Watchers Points Work

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

Historians Discover Thomas Jefferson May Have Secretly Fathered Multiple Other Countries

Crowd Shocked After Unhinged Trump Dangles Baby From Truman Balcony

Hundreds Of Miniature Sean Hannitys Burst From Roger Ailes’ Corpse

Panic Floods Mike Pence’s System Before Realizing Hand On Knee His Own

LeBron James Dances Naked Inside Pentagram Of Black Candles In New Pregame Satanic Ritual

Trump Boys Chasing Wounded Boar Around White House

Virginia Shooting Somehow Proves What Every Single American Has Been Saying All Along

Gaunt, Sickly Kirby Takes Leave Of Absence From Video Games Following Stomach Cancer Diagnosis

God Falling Under Influence Of Powerful Spiritual Guru

‘You Deserve Better Than The Person You’re Dating,’ Reports Little Voice In Back Of Mind

American Airlines Admirals Club Installs Two-Way Mirror For Members To Enjoy Misery Of Passengers In Gate Waiting Area

New Evidence Suggests Humans May Have Been Dipping Crunchy Things Into Gooey Things Earlier Than Previously Thought

Nation’s Middle Class Chillingly Reappears Out Of Nowhere

Taylor Swift Unveils Even Darker Persona With New Single ‘Skullfucking Maggot Shit Boyfriend’

College Freshman Experiences First Tantalizing Taste Of Freedom Waiting In Line At Burrito Station While Parents Find Table

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

Stunned Family Watches As Grandmother Wolfs Down Sandwich In 33 Minutes

Woman Comes Forward With First Allegations Of Biggest Sexual Harassment Scandal Of 2036

Embarrassed Health Guru Informs Tom Brady He’s Been Mistakenly Following Toxic Diet Regimen

Presidential Limo Guns It Around Corner In Attempt To Toss Robert Mueller From Roof

Pet Researchers Confirm 100% Of Owners Who Leave For Work Never Coming Back

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

Fox News Struggling To Attract Younger 60-75 Demographic

Man With 3 Kids Going To Make Great Father Someday

Al Franken: ‘I’m Deeply Sorry For My Hilarious Actions’

Advertising

Read More