Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2011

Published:

December 18, 2019

Virgin Mary Statue Crying For No Good Reason

Report: Majority Of Money Donated At Church Doesn’t Make It To God

Gap Between Rich And Poor Named 8th Wonder Of The World

Study: 89 Percent Of Networking Nonconsensual

Department Of Health And Human Services Recommends Standing At Least Once A Day

Republicans Vote To Repeal Obama-Backed Bill That Would Destroy Asteroid Headed For Earth

Police Bust Giraffe-Fighting Ring

Future U.S. History Students: ‘It’s Pretty Embarrassing How Long You Guys Took To Legalize Gay Marriage’

Senator Honored For Work With Overprivileged Americans

Police Find Adorable Little Skeleton

Embarrassed Republicans Admit They’ve Been Thinking Of Eisenhower Whole Time They’ve Been Praising Reagan

NASA Completes 52-Year Mission To Find, Kill God

Postal Service Celebrates Another Awesome Day Of Delivering Mail

Dead Teenager Remembered For Great Hand Jobs

Grown Adult Actually Expects To Be Happy

Laid-Back Voices Urging Man To Kill His Family When He Gets A Chance

Continued Existence Of Edible Arrangements Disproves Central Tenets Of Capitalism

White House To Hold Second Auditions This Week For Nationwide Production Of ‘Guys And Dolls’

Trump Unable To Produce Certificate Proving He’s Not A Festering Pile Of Shit

Osama Bin Laden Killed While Sitting On Toilet, Nation Likes To Imagine

Planned Parenthood Opens $8 Billion Abortionplex

Enraged 500-Foot-Tall Bin Laden Rises From Sea, Destroys New York, Washington

Bin Laden Returns To Sea

I Spilled My Soda, Report Nation’s Dopes

Planet Earth Doesn’t Know How To Make It Any Clearer It Wants Everyone To Leave

Fire Consumes Big Happy Farm Where Families Send Sick Dogs To Run Free And Play

Man Just Going To Grab Guitar And Old Four-Track, Go Out To Cabin In Woods, Make Shittiest Album Anyone’s Ever Heard

Tim Pawlenty Shaves Off Every Hair On His Body In Really Weird Campaign Gaffe

Report: Typical City Bus Contains No Fewer Than Four Erections At Any Given Time

30 Years Of Man’s Life Disappear In Mysterious ‘Kansas Rectangle’

Nickname To Forever Prevent People From Getting To Know The Real Dumptruck

Vatican Reverses Stance On Gay Marriage After Meeting Tony And Craig

Nation Ready For Its Din Din

Area Woman Excited To Finally Experience Unbearable Loneliness Of Having Her Own Place

Kid Massive

Scientists Trace Heat Wave To Massive Star At Center Of Solar System

Laffy Taffy Sponsors Every Cobblestone At 9/11 Memorial

Visa Exposed As Massive Credit Card Scam

Study: 96 Percent Of Humans Would Rather Be Animatronic Bear

Man Somehow Overcomes Alcoholism Without Jesus

Report: Male Hair Loss 7 Times More Painful Than Childbirth

Former Lovers Meet In Coffee Shop For One Last Cliché

Shitty Zoo Promoting Hell Out Of New Fruit Bat

U.S. Commemorates 9/11 By Toasting Stable Afghan Government From Top Of Freedom Tower

Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation

Everybody Shocked Body Found In Woods Not Justin

New Bipartisan Law Would Make Dog Neckerchiefs Mandatory

Study Finds Every Style Of Parenting Produces Disturbed, Miserable Adults

Breaking: Jessica Milly To Start Putting Out

Report: Jessica Milly Has Put Out

Old front pages of The Onion newspaper

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