Entertainment Our Annual Year: Best Of Sports Published: December 19, 2019 Tony Romo Realizes He Should Have Used Ability To Read Defenses Back When He Was Still Playing Tom Brady Feeling Guilty After Gorging Self On Full Order Of Kansas-City-Style Tap Water Nike Fires 8-Year-Old Shoemaker Responsible For Zion Williamson Injury Super Bowl Halftime Show Marred By Functioning Sound System Giant Demonic Hand Bursts Out Of Ground, Drags Bill Belichick Back To Hell ‘This One Means The Least Of All,’ Says Tom Brady Accepting Super Bowl Trophy Orioles Creeped Out By Fan Who Followed Them To Spring Training Dedicated Russell Westbrook Stays Late After Practice To Miss 100 Extra Shots Upset Red Sox Fan Demands To Speak To Manager St. Louis Officials Encourage Celebrating Blues Fans To Just Burn City Down And Finally End This U.S. Soccer Federation Argues It Ridiculous For Female Players To Expect Same Pay As Huge Stars Like Daniel Lovitz, Djordje Mihailovic Football Program In Jeopardy After High School Allocates $500,000 To ‘Little Women’ Production Kawhi Leonard Worried He’s Succumbing To Glitzy L.A. Lifestyle After Purchasing Flashy 2016 Subaru Report: Little League Pitchers Could Avoid Overtaxing Their Arms By, You Know, Getting Somebody Out New NCAA Rule Forces Athletes To Remove All Facial Features To Prevent Them From Profiting Off Likeness Employee Using Up Sick Days Before Leaving Company Knicks Confident They Have The Cap Space To Ruin 2 Or 3 Promising Careers Jared Goff Pissed He Had To Miss Friend’s Super Bowl Party For Work Retired Marshawn Lynch Goes Into Yeast Mode While Baking Advertising President Impeached Continued on next page Related Coverage Most Shocking Takeaways From HBO’s New ‘Sopranos’ Documentary Our Devices: They’re Listening, Sure, But Do They Really Get Us? Horrified Taylor Swift Realizes Football Happens Every Year