Our Annual Year: Best Of September

Published:

October 1, 2019

City’s Alcoholism Rebranded As Culture

Rookie Forest Ranger Not Getting Hopes Up About Seeing Tree On First Day

Dying Man’s Greatest Regret Wasting So Much Of Life Obsessing About People He Abducted And Strangled

Lindsey Graham Demands To Know How Trump Supposed To Lead Nation Under Such Rampant Accountability

Democrats Launch New ‘Listen Up, Hayseeds’ Campaign To Connect With Rural Voters

Slide-Whistleblower Complaint Reveals Trump’s Pants Around Ankles

Marianne Williamson Materializes On Stage In Cloud Of Purple Smoke With Message That DNC Polling Requirements No Match For Power Of Positive Thinking

Trump Opens Door On Air Force One Again

‘Help! Help! Who Am I? Where Am I? Who Are You People?’ Says Biden In Embarrassing Campaign Gaffe

Nation Perplexed By 16-Year-Old Who Doesn’t Want World To End

Matthew McConaughey Forced To Apply For Food Stamps After First Month As Adjunct Professor

Mattel Preempts Backlash Over Gender-Neutral Doll With Release Of New ‘Covered In Genitals’ Barbie

Unconscious Amazon Employee Chastised For Not Filing Time-Off Request

Audubon Society President Spends Another Morning In Attic Feeding Nation’s 2.9 Billion Missing Birds

Old front pages of The Onion newspaper

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