Our Annual Year: Best Of March

Published:

December 14, 2020

The Onion

Pope Francis Urges Priests To Refrain From Molesting Children Over Coronavirus Fears

The Onion

Tulsi Gabbard Named Democratic Nominee After Discovery Of Obscure Rule That Grants Nomination To Whoever Wins 0.7% Of The Vote In Missouri

The Onion

Best Methods For Staying Safe From Coronavirus

The Onion

‘I Can’t Wait To Dress Up As The Coronavirus For Halloween,’ Says Man Who Will Be Dead By May

The Onion

Top U.S. Health Experts: ‘Hold On To Your Fucking Seats Because This Bitch Hasn’t Even Thought About Starting Yet’

The Onion

‘I Have Coronavirus And I Am Dead’ Says Trump Furthering Confusion Over COVID-19

The Onion

Woman Tries To Spark Casual Chat In Long Grocery Store Line As If She Not Desperately Attempting To Outrun Death

The Onion

Trump Quietly Checks With Aides To Make Sure He’d Be Included In Receiving $1,000 Government Checks

The Onion

Frustrated Dog Has No Time To Jerk Off Now That Owner Home All Day

The Onion

Trump Seeks To Stimulate Economy By Sending Rare Autographed Photo To Every American

The Onion

Thousands Of Formerly Endangered White Rhinos Flood City Streets Mere Days After Humans Quarantined Indoors

The Onion

Violently Bored Americans Begin Looting Puzzle Stores

The Onion

Nation Close To Getting Videoconferencing Software To Work

The Onion

Tom Brady Awakens From Week-Long Kombucha Bender To Discover He’s A Tampa Bay Buccaneer

Best of April 2020

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