Entertainment Our Annual Year: Best Of July Published: August 1, 2019 Woman Spirals Into Vortex Of Self-Doubt After Trader Joe’s Cashier Does Not Compliment Any Of Her Selected Items Pizza Crust Saved To Make Pizza Stock Gynecologist Inserting IUD Promises Woman It Will Be Just A Quick Pinch And Then She’ll Be On The Floor Unconscious 4-Year-Old Convinced Father A Moron After 45th Consecutive Hide-And-Seek Victory Ruth Bader Ginsburg Suspended For Next 10 Rulings Following Supreme Court Bench-Clearing Brawl Pelosi Concerned Outspoken Progressive Flank Of Party Could Harm Democrats’ Reputation As Ineffectual Cowards Trump Honors Brave Heroes Who Slept With Wives Of Deployed Soldiers 82-Year-Old New Jersey Congressman Bill Pascrell Quietly Asks Ilhan Omar If He Can Be Part Of The Squad Trump Escalates Baltimore Attacks With Rambling, 3-Hour Press Conference Tearing Into Edgar Allan Poe Paul Ryan Lauded For Inspiring Millions Of Young Gutless Fucking Cowards To Take On Leadership Roles Real Buzz Aldrin Spends 50th Straight Year On Moon Trying To Signal Earth To Warn Of Imposter God Orders All Followers To Swallow Cyanide Capsules In Preparation For Voyage To Alpha Centauri Frustrated Subway Marketers Scrap $150 Million Jeffrey Epstein Ad Campaign ICE Sends Agents Home With Sacks Of Flour To Practice What It Like Detaining Real Baby Small Town Ravished By Alejandro Advertising Jake Tapper Demands Michael Bennet Answer Question Of Whether He Too Big A Pussy To Take Swing At De Blasio Continued on next page Related Coverage Most Shocking Takeaways From HBO’s New ‘Sopranos’ Documentary Our Devices: They’re Listening, Sure, But Do They Really Get Us? Horrified Taylor Swift Realizes Football Happens Every Year