Our Annual Year: Best Of February

Published:

December 14, 2020

The Onion

DNC Mulls Asking Donald Trump To Run As Democrat In Effort To Stop Sanders

The Onion

Speeding Democratic Campaign Buses Run Over 173 Iowans In Mad Dash To Get Fuck Out Of State

The Onion

DNC Offers Startup $500 Million To Develop Pencil That Can Accurately Record Election Results

The Onion

Rush Limbaugh Admits Presidential Medal Of Freedom Less Of An Honor Knowing That Rosa Parks, Maya Angelou Also Received It

The Onion

Jimmy Carter Added To Mount Rushmore After Becoming 5th Former President To Bowl Perfect 300

The Onion

Bloomberg Hires Thousands Of Canvassers To Stop Black Men On Street And Force Them To Hear Campaign Pitch

The Onion

Carnival Sinks Cruise Ship Rather Than Letting It Fall Into Coronavirus’ Clutches

The Onion

‘I Love My Wife Marcia And 2 Beautiful Kids, Tad And Hayden,’ Says Buttigieg In Latest Campaign Shift

The Onion

‘I’ll Rule You Peasants With An Iron Fist,’ Says Bloomberg To Standing Ovation During DNC Debate

The Onion

Experts Concerned Pale Russian Mystic Constantly At Trump’s Side May Attempt To Influence 2020 Election

The Onion

‘You Take These Cuffs Off Of Me And I’ll Make You A Star,’ Says Harvey Weinstein To Female Bailiff Escorting Him Out Of Courtroom

The Onion

‘Tell Me About It, Stud,’ Says Pleather-Clad Elizabeth Warren On Debate Stage In Effort To Court Bad Boy Demographic

The Onion

‘Whatavirus?’ Says Half-Naked Mike Pence Brushing Crumbs Off Stomach While Taking First Call From Trump In 18 Months

The Onion

Trump Claims Responsibility For Longest Black History Month In 4 Years

Best of March 2020

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