Entertainment Our Annual Year: Best Of February Published: March 1, 2019 Pedestrian Crossing Street Makes Sure To Look At Approaching Car So Driver Will Feel More Guilty If They Run Him Over Lazy Poor Person Has Never Earned Passive Income From Stock Dividends A Day In His Life New Mom Self-Conscious About Scar Where Baby Punched Its Way Out Of Stomach Trump Solemnly Lays Wreath At Site Where He Would Have Died During Vietnam War If He Weren’t Rich Congress Agrees To $1.3 Billion For Protective Border Fencers Winded Trump Forced To Lie Down For Last Half Of Speech Ilhan Omar Thankful For Colleagues Educating Her On Painful History AIPAC Lobbyists Have Had To Endure Nancy Pelosi Signals Support For Environmental Causes By Placing Green New Deal Directly Into Recycling Bin Authorities Swiftly Announce 1,600 Washington Dairy Cows Found Mutilated, Arranged In Pentagram Killed By Blizzard ‘Fly, My Pretties,’ Says Jeff Bezos Releasing Swarm Of Amazon Drones To Hunt Down Nude Photos Chicago Police Credit Their Extensive Experience Falsifying Evidence For Helping Solve Smollett Case Victoria’s Secret Releases Sexy Black Lace Sleep Apnea Mask Spacecraft Travel From All Over Galaxy To Honor End Of Opportunity Rover’s Life Kim Jong-Un Panics After Returning To North Korea To Find Country’s Populace Has Escaped Pope Spends Afternoon Filling In Glory Holes All Over St. Peter’s Basilica Advertising Chicago Will Elect First Black Woman Mayor Continued on next page Related Coverage Most Shocking Takeaways From HBO’s New ‘Sopranos’ Documentary Our Devices: They’re Listening, Sure, But Do They Really Get Us? Horrified Taylor Swift Realizes Football Happens Every Year