Entertainment Optimism Published: May 14, 2012 Pathetic Goal ReachedKinko’s Manager Hopes Child Stays Missing A Little LongerNew Children’s Hospital Filled To CapacityMean Automakers Dash Nation’s Hope For Flying CarsSilicon Valley Town Pinning Tourism Hopes On World’s Largest WebsiteCouple Brought Together Through Mutual DesperationItem Found In Garbage To Be Turned Into Lamp SomedaySuburban Family Invests Hopes, Dreams In Gas GrillMiracle Of Birth Occurs For 83 Billionth TimeNation’s Students To Give American Education System Yet Another ChanceNASA Intern Hoping To Go On Space Walk Before He Leaves In JuneBen Affleck Hoping Jason Bourne Has Sidekick In Next MovieArea Man Hoping Cell Phone Breaks So He Can Get Better OneSelf-Help Book Believes It Can Be A Bestseller SomedayNation’s Unemployment Outlook Improves Drastically After Fifth BeerCollege Senior Hopes To Turn Love Of Data Entry Into Career Print Is Back. Get The Paper. Become A Member. Advertising Don't You Fret, America Continued on next page Explore Tags Vol 48: Issue 1 Related Coverage Horrified Taylor Swift Realizes Football Happens Every Year Joey Chestnut Eats Entire Cast Of ‘Stranger Things’ In Under 10 Minutes The Onion Reviews ‘The Fast And The Furious’