‘Oppenheimer’ Given Surprise R Rating For Title Character’s Near-Constant Full-Frontal Nudity

WASHINGTON—After it determined Christopher Nolan’s latest film was inappropriate for younger audiences, the Motion Picture Association gave Oppenheimer a surprising R rating Monday, citing the title character’s near-constant full-frontal nudity. “The bulk of the film’s three-hour runtime is just shots of Cillian Murphy as J. Robert Oppenheimer hanging out with famous physicists and wearing absolutely nothing save for the occasional open kimono, so we felt a more mature rating was required,” said MPA spokesperson Angelica Reaves, noting that while the directorial choice seemed to have very little historical basis, Nolan was apparently committed to shooting the character of Oppenheimer nude on IMAX 70-millimeter film. “During the first atomic bomb test scene, we for some reason see the explosion from a perspective shot between Oppenheimer’s legs as his genitalia wag center frame. And from then on, every time we see a detonation onscreen, his scrotum and penis are perfectly superimposed over the resulting mushroom cloud. We of course see him struggle with the morality of the weapon he has created, but I guess there was something metaphorical about watching him get hard when the bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.” According to Hollywood insiders, the final line Oppenheimer utters in the film is “Now I am become dick, the destroyer of poon.”