1. Georgia: Young team overflowing with confidence, though preseason boast that their football empire shall rule over all the Earth for a thousand years makes scouts uneasy
2. Ohio State: Have more experience beating teams in its conference and losing to teams in the SEC than any other squad
3. USC: Trojans have enough talent to direct a box-office smash hit movie and write an Emmy-award winning show; however, are not quite as good at football
4. Florida: The Gators’ defense improved this year by dropping their NFL-caliber players for actual NFL players
5. Michigan: Did we say fifth? Sorry, we meant 53rd; didn’t mean to be insufferable arrogant pricks about it, the way Michigan fans were back when their team was any good
6. Missouri: The Tigers received their highest ranking ever this season, proving it pays to sign up early for the NCAA
7. Oklahoma: Honestly, this one is just a space filler
8. Texas Tech: The Red Raiders will employ the strategy of playing it cool and not caring about a championship, which will ultimately win the attention of the BCS pollsters
9. Auburn: The developing Tigers have set high expectations for themselves but will fall short of their goal of being undefeated and winning every game by a million points
10. Wisconsin: Powerful offense; fast, gambling defense; would be ranked higher if it weren’t for lame “Jump Around” celebration, annoying marching band
