‘One Day This Will All Be Yours,’ Says Buzz Aldrin While Showing Great-Grandson Around Moon

MONTES APENNINUS, THE MOON—Gazing upon the stark beauty of the land, retired astronaut Buzz Aldrin announced “one day, this will all be yours” to his great-grandson Nathaniel Friday while taking him on a brief tour around the Moon. “From the Tycho Crater to the Oceanus Procellarum, this land is your birthright as an Aldrin,” said the second man to walk on the lone natural satellite of planet Earth, beaming proudly as he made a sweeping gesture towards the jagged mountains and half-shadowed craters that would one day belong to his anointed heir. “You’re too young to really understand what this means, I know, but you and your brothers, Ben and Archer, are the lunar scions, and you have been charged with safeguarding this place. My time on the Moon is limited, and soon, it will be your generation that must assume this great celestial responsibility. Care for it, cultivate it, and above all else, remember that it is no burden. Be good to the Moon, and the Moon will be good to you as it has been to me. I’m extremely proud of you, and I know I shall forever be at peace knowing that the airless, old, one-sixth-gravity Aldrin homestead is in good hands.” The Aldrin family is currently enmeshed in a long-running legal battle with a Texas development conglomerate with plans to turn the moon into a retirement community and golf resort.