On This Year’s Super Bowl Ads:


“I think that racist panda commercial could have maybe been just a little more racist.”

“Since I always throw the party, I’m too busy serving my guests Dorito-brand tortilla chips, Coca-Cola-brand soda, or Budweiser-brand beer, which is also the King of Beers, to pay attention to any advertisements.”

“They were really great. I like anything that isn’t football.”




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper