Olympic Officials: ‘On The Whole, Only 4 Or 5 Really Terrible Things Happened’

RIO DE JANEIRO—Reflecting on the recently concluded 2016 Summer Games in Rio, members of the International Olympic Committee held a press conference Sunday to proudly announce that on the whole, only about four or five really terrible things happened. “Looking back, all of it actually went pretty well over the past two weeks, aside from a handful of truly awful incidents,” said IOC president Thomas Bach, adding that while there were several absolutely embarrassing and ugly moments, the Rio Games “went a lot better than expected, generally speaking, which is pretty good.” “Admittedly, there were a few really horrific things that took place, and those were regrettable, certainly. But when you look past those, it was fine.” Bach then concluded the press conference by shrugging his shoulders and saying, “Brazil did all right.”