Last week, President Obama announced a plan to lower automobile emissions by requiring new cars to average 35.5 miles per gallon. How can Detroit rise to meet the challenge?
Launch massive campaign urging drivers to draft a few feet behind one another on the highway to minimize drag
Will no longer sell or lease to anyone weighing more than 150 pounds
Remove least fuel-efficient tire from every car
Gradually decrease the length of a mile
Slap a sticker that says “35.5” on all new cars
Bulldoze nation’s uphill gradients
Talk Obama down to 34 miles per gallon by offering to throw in a copy of The Audacity Of Hope with each auto purchase
Copy the Japanese, probably
