INDIVIDUAL MANDATE:
Obamacare: Those who don’t obtain health insurance are penalized
GOP’s Plan: Those who don’t obtain impeccable health are penalized
PREEXISTING CONDITIONS:
Obamacare: Americans covered regardless of preexisting conditions
GOP’s Plan: Insurers no longer forced to cover Americans stricken with condition of poverty
PERMITS INSURANCE COMPANIES TO FUCK AMERICANS OVER:
Obamacare: Yes
GOP’s Plan: Yes
HEALTH SAVINGS ACCOUNTS:
Obamacare: Allows individuals to deposit up to $3,400 and families up to $6,750 into tax-free health savings account
GOP’s Plan: Every savings account now a health savings account
AVERAGE COST OF HOSPITAL VISIT:
Obamacare: Devastating
GOP’s Plan: Ruinous
BEST UNDERSTOOD VIA SERIES OF SIDE-BY-SIDE BULLET POINT COMPARISONS:
Obamacare: Yeah
GOP’s Plan: Of course
OBJECTIVE:
Obamacare: Relieve patients of high healthcare costs
GOP’s Plan: Relieve insurance companies of high healthcare costs
COVERAGE OF CHILDREN:
Obamacare: Creates unacceptable culture of entitlement by allowing children to stay on parents’ plan until age of 26
GOP’s Plan: Unchanged
FREEZING BODY TO BE THAWED OUT AND REVIVED BY FUTURE GENERATIONS:
Obamacare: Not covered
GOP’s Plan: Not covered
ASSOCIATION WITH DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENT THAT PREVENTS REPUBLICANS FROM SUPPORTING LAW:
Obamacare: Yes
GOP’s Plan: Nope!
OVERALL EFFECT:
Obamacare: Worst law in the history of the United States
GOP’s Plan: Slightly worse than that
