NYPD Arrests Trump After Routine Stop-And-Frisk Turns Up Unlicensed Handgun, 400 Mg Of Ketamine

NEW YORK—In another successful effort by city law enforcement to put criminals behind bars, NYPD officers reportedly arrested former President Donald Trump Tuesday after a routine stop-and-frisk turned up an unlicensed handgun and 400 milligrams of ketamine. “At approximately 11:30 a.m., two officers out on patrol noticed an individual loitering in Greeley Square Park, and during the ensuing search of his person discovered a Sig Sauer P320 with the serial number shaved off and illegal possession of a Schedule III substance,” read the arrest record in part, with subsequent reports confirming that the 45th president of the United States was read his Miranda rights, placed into a squad car, and booked at the Metropolitan Correctional Center, where he will be held awaiting bail. “New York City’s finest are committed to getting criminal elements off the streets, and we’re glad to do so in the case of the former president. This just goes to show that while there are those bleeding-heart liberals who may criticize our methods, the fact is, they get results. Today, an illegal handgun and a quantity of club drugs that could have been distributed to impressionable kids are off our streets. We look forward to prosecuting this common thug to the fullest extent of the law.” The police report noted that Trump did himself no favors with the arresting officers when he tried to flee, racing into the 33rd Street Station and hopping a subway turnstile before being finally tackled to the ground.