Notre Dame Football Team Having Worst Season Since Corinthians

SOUTH BEND, IN—A mere 1-8 following their 46-44 triple-overtime loss to Navy, their first to the service academy since 1963, the Fighting Irish are now enduring their worst football season since the authorship of the New Testament Book of Corinthians circa 55 A.D. “Listen, I don’t take any pride in being the losingest Fighting Irish coach since Paul of Tarsus defended his apostleship by claiming a revelation from Christ,” head coach Charlie Weis said in a press conference Tuesday. “But I’ll remind you that Paul wrote Corinthians to correct faulty assumptions on the part of the Church, so don’t go making any of your own. Plus Notre Dame finished up that season with wins against Rutgers and U-Masada, and while the names may have changed, our spirit has not.” Biblical athletics scholars note, however, that if the Irish fail to win another game, Notre Dame will hold the record for worst division 1-A season since Ecclesiastes.