North Korea Returns To Normalcy With Synchronized Disco Jump-Rope Gala

WASHINGTON—In a sign that North Korea is finally returning to normal following the death of Kim Jong-il, the country reportedly held a festive synchronized disco jump-rope gala in Pyongyang’s main public square this week. “Slowly but surely, typical daily life has resumed in North Korea: The loudspeakers are once again blaring dance music, and ordinary citizens have put their brightly colored costumes back on and are performing gymnastics in perfectly choreographed sequences,” State Department foreign policy analyst William T. Baker said. “Approximately 30,000 children leapt through the air with shiny metallic streamers, while the coordinated undulations of T-shirted adults simulated a giant North Korean flag fluttering in the wind. In other words, as of late, we’ve seen nothing out of the ordinary here.” Observers later reported that the nation’s new leader, Kim Jong-un, had nodded once in approval of the synchronized disco jump-rope gala, signaling that the period of mourning is officially over.