NHL: 'Anybody Want Free Tickets To The Stanley Cup Finals?'

PHILADELPHIA—In a desperate attempt to increase attendance at postseason games, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman announced Monday that the league was offering free Stanley Cup Finals tickets to anybody willing to take them. “These are great tickets, center ice, no obstructions, and we’ll even throw in free refreshments for the first 2,000 people who accept the offer,” Bettman said during a nationally televised press conference. “It would be a real shame if all those seats went to waste. Just stop on by the Stanley Cup Finals if you don’t have anything else to do.” Bettman reportedly made a last push to get rid of the complimentary tickets by promising playing time to anyone seated in the first 10 rows.