New Legislation Would Prohibit Texting While Stabbing

SPRINGFIELD, IL—After attracting bipartisan sponsors in both houses of the state’s General Assembly, new legislation was introduced Wednesday that would prohibit texting while stabbing anywhere in Illinois. “Looking at your phone when you’re trying to stab someone is reckless because you can suddenly lose control of your knife,” said state Sen. Bill Cunningham, a co-sponsor of the bill who noted that Illinois residents should always switch to a hands-free Bluetooth device before picking up a knife, regardless of whether they were spending an hour hunting someone down a dark alley or were just briefly waving the blade around as a threat. “You may think you can dash off a quick text while methodically plunging a knife into a person’s throat, but with your attention divided between the two tasks, your victim is very likely to survive the attack and possibly even escape. This law will help make sure everyone carrying out a knife attack in the state of Illinois keeps their attention focused on the human being bleeding out in front of them.” Cunningham went on to cite studies that have shown distracted stabbing can be every bit as dangerous as stabbing under the influence of alcohol.