New Florida Bill Allows Guns To Start Businesses

TALLAHASSEE, FL—In an effort to achieve greater equality among a community deeply woven into the fabric of the state’s culture, a new Florida bill signed into law Friday would allow guns to start businesses. “For too long, pistols and semiautomatic rifles have been excluded from full participation in our state’s economy, and this law seeks to rectify that immediately,” said Gov. Ron DeSantis, arguing that law-abiding 9 mm handguns and AR-15-style weapons have a constitutional right to engage in commerce just as any other valued member of the public would. “Going forward, firearms will be able to open nail salons, pizzerias, massage parlors, or any other establishment they wish in pursuit of their own American dream. Did you know that even though they make up 55% of the U.S. population, there are zero gun CEOs in America?” DeSantis added that he would love see a thriving Little Guntown neighborhood in downtown Miami or Orlando.