New Congressional Intern Disillusioned With Politics and Democracy In Record 6 Minutes, 41 Seconds

WASHINGTON—Once-idealistic Penn State senior Marc Leitman set a congressional internship record Tuesday when, within seven minutes of his arrival on Capitol Hill, he became hopelessly disillusioned with American politics, having overheard his sponsoring senator offer a government contract to a construction company in exchange for free home renovations. “I didn’t even get a chance to introduce myself before he demonstrated how shamelessly the politicians in this town put their own needs above those of their constituents,” a crestfallen Leitman said. “This whole damn town stinks to high heaven and I haven’t even had my lunch break yet.” The previous record for political disenchantment by a congressional intern was set in 2004 by University of Texas student Kerri Donovan, whose breasts were groped by her representative at the 09:54.00 mark.