Negative Parent-Teacher Conference Not Exactly Eye-Opening For Area Mother

SARATOGA, CA—Saying she could have predicted every single thing they discussed, area mother Andrea Hopkins confirmed on Wednesday that the negative parent-teacher conference she had for her third-grade son Nate was not exactly eye-opening. “Oh, so you’re saying he’s fidgety and doesn’t get along well with others?—yeah, not exactly the shocker of the century,” said Hopkins, adding that she wasn’t really knocked out by the revelation that her 8-year-old was distractible, either. “I mean, I’m not sure I needed to drive all the way down here for the shocking news that the person that I fight with every single night about doing his homework is getting poor grades.” Reached for comment, the boy’s father said he “learned a ton” and was sorry he missed the first half of the meeting.