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Neanderthal DNA Linked To Modern Disorders

A study of the Neanderthal DNA that survives within the human genome found that our ancient ancestors’ genes are responsible for addiction and depression in modern humans. What do you think?

Brennan Fillipitch • Granola Sweetener

“I’ve always sensed something protohuman about my crankiness.”

Brennan Fillipitch • Granola Sweetener

Dave Gastrone • Meat Grader

“On the bright side, I have Neanderthal genes to thank for this strong, commanding forehead.”

Dave Gastrone • Meat Grader

Sandra Gustafson • Pipe Bender

“It’s just so much more satisfying to scapegoat the living.”

Sandra Gustafson • Pipe Bender




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper