Nation Wondering When Steve Jobs Coming Back

WASHINGTON—Admitting they had grown to really miss the tech entrepreneur over the past decade, the nation wondered Wednesday when Apple co-founder Steve Jobs was coming back. “Basically, we’re just curious about when Steve Jobs might make a reappearance,” said Evan Fiennes, 43, one of nearly 330 million Americans who waxed nostalgic on Jobs’s black turtlenecks and penchant for introducing technological marvels. “I mean, Tim Cook is fine, but we thought he’d only last six months or a year. At this point, we’d prefer if Steve Jobs just came back. You remember him, right? He had the iPod and the iMac? And maybe he did the iPad, too. Then suddenly—poof—he’s gone. Well, anyway, just let us know if you hear about when he’s returning.” The nation added that, come to think of it, they also wouldn’t mind an update on when Jerry Stiller might pop up again, as well.