Nation’s Men Stunned To Realize Sexual Harassment Problem May Go As Far Back As 1990

LOS ANGELES—Struggling to comprehend how such an obvious breach of interpersonal trust could be allowed to continue, men across the country were stunned Tuesday upon learning that the problem of sexual harassment may have been endemic in all aspects of society as far back as 1990. “I had not heard of it until recently, and therefore was almost certain this was a new thing, but as more allegations come to light, I’ve become aware that unwelcome sexual advances, unwanted physical contact, and inappropriate speech have been problems for at least two decades,” said marketing analyst Rick Owens, who claimed to be “appalled” that something so obviously in violation of the social contract could just materialize out of nowhere in the last decade of the 20th century. “It’s insane to think this ‘sexual harassment’ thing has managed to stick around for almost 30 years. I am aware there were a few incidents in 2017, and I figured that since obviously I wouldn’t have heard of every instance, it probably went as far back as 2014. But 1990? I’m a little embarrassed, I don’t mind telling you. Well, at least now that we know it’s going on. We can address it, so it should be pretty much over by the end of the year.” Owens added that he took some small comfort in the knowledge that his mother’s generation never had to deal with something like this.