Throughout our relationship, my ex-girlfriend Therese was an emotionally mature person with a good head on her shoulders. So, I have to say, it’s pretty sad to watch her desperately seek my attention by answering my incessant phone calls like this.
In fact, not a day goes by that Therese doesn’t answer the phone when I call her. It doesn’t matter if I’m calling in the early evening while eating dinner alone, or in the middle of the night as I get paranoid that she might be with somebody else—she picks up every time! I mean, she must keep her phone on her at all times in case I call or something. It’s kind of pitiful, really.
And it’s not like our conversations ever go anywhere. Most of the time it’s just me crying while desperate ol’ Therese listens attentively and tries to offer support as though we were still together or something. Sometimes I just want to tell her how pathetic she seems, but I’m not sure she could handle it emotionally.
For instance, I called Therese at like 10 p.m. on a Friday night recently. She picks up (of course, because she’s super attached) and tells me that she can’t talk because she’s out with friends, but then get this: I call her right back and she picks up again. It’s like, come on Therese, have some self-respect. Isn’t she embarrassed to be groveling for my affection in front of her friends?
She must not be, because she’ll even step out from whatever social event she’s attending and stay on the line all night. All I do is sob and beg her not to hang up, or make vague allusions to how I’m “not in a safe place right now,” and she’ll stay on the phone with me for hours. I’m not kidding: hours. Talk about dependency issues.
And it’s not just all the phone calls. She keeps responding to my texts and e-mails as though she thinks something might actually work out with us. Recently I texted her to say “I guess you never loved me after all.” And she texted me back within like five minutes. I mean, can you breathe with all this desperation in the air?
A little dependency is understandable right after a breakup, but bear in mind: We broke up five months ago. Five months. I have been calling her pretty much nonstop since then, but she can’t seem to get it through her head that it’s over and just keeps answering. I would be upset with her if it wasn’t so depressing.
To her credit, though, she has tried to break her unhealthy addiction to me. Sometimes she’ll insist that she wants some “space,” and that she’s going to stop talking to me. Then I tell her that my grandmother died or something, and suddenly her need for space gets thrown out the window. Show some backbone, Therese.
It’s at the point where I wonder if I should get other people involved. I mean, there’s only so much I can do, and if she’s going to insist on taking my calls like this, it stops being my problem at a certain point. Maybe I’ll reach out to her mom. I’m sure she’ll respond to my e-mails—the apple never falls too far from the tree.
If you’re reading this Therese—and I really, really hope you are—move on already.
