Mrs. Butterworth's Bottle Central To Terrifying LSD Experience

ATHENS, GA—An anthropomorphic container of Mrs. Butterworth’s-brand maple syrup took on nightmarish qualities for University of Georgia sophomore Kevin Duffy, 20, Tuesday during a harrowing, LSD-induced hallucination. “She was talkin’ to me, man,” the visibly shaken Duffy said following the four-hour experience. “I was zoning out on the linoleum patterns in the kitchenette when I heard this soothing, matronly voice. Then I saw her, gently gliding across the countertop and gesturing eerily with her tiny, translucent arms.” Duffy’s terror, he said, reached a fever pitch at approximately 4 a.m., when the parameters of four-dimensional space-time began closing in around him “like a waffle iron.” “She took off the top of her head, man,” Duffy said, “and there was this amorphous, semitransparent mass inside, sticking to me no matter how hard I tried to escape.”