Americans across the country love to celebrate the spookiest day of the year by stuffing their faces with sweet treats. The Onion examines the most popular Halloween candy in every state.
Alabama
Laffy Tobacky
Alaska
Crude Oil Pops
Arizona
Candy-Coated Blood Pressure Medication
Arkansas
No thanks! Rob and I are on Atkins. We’re trying to drop 15 pounds before our anniversary cruise.
California
Flat Tummy 2-Step Detox Twix
Colorado
Bong Water Taffy
Connecticut
$25,000 24-Karat Gold Leaf Chocolate Truffle
Delaware
Fun-Sized Bag Of DuPont Phenothiazine
Florida
Heterosexual Skittles
Georgia
Boiled Circus Peanuts
Hawaii
Lava-Filled M&M’s
Idaho
Caramel Potato
Illinois
Deep-Dish Peanut Butter Cups
Indiana
Unsalted Pretzels
Iowa
Ham Sandwich
Kansas
Mike And Ike Who Are Just Close Friends And Nothing More
Kentucky
Candy E-Cigarettes
Louisiana
An Assortment Of Hard Candies Boiled In Cajun Spices And Then Shaken Out On A Table
Maine
Saltwater Saltwater
Maryland
Kit Krab Bar
Massachusetts
Wax Bottle Brandished As Weapon
Michigan
Lead Water Taffy
Minnesota
Jelly Belly Casserole
Mississippi
Breast Milk Duds
Missouri
3 Methcateers
Montana
Pop Boulders
Nebraska
Udderfinger
Nevada
Gobstoppers Eaten Off A Naked Woman
New Hampshire
Blank Page Off Doctor’s Prescription Pad
New Jersey
Few Fun-Sized Milky Ways Slipped Into Governor’s Pocket To Get Esplanade Deal Through
New Mexico
Sun-Dried Fruit Gushers
New York
Two Slices Of Fruit Roll-Ups On Paper Plate With Can Of Coke $4.99
North Carolina
Purity Ring Pops
North Dakota
Every Color But The Brown M&M
Ohio
Cincinnati Chili Loose In Ziploc Bag
Oklahoma
Sour Patch Fetuses
Oregon
Chicken Katsu Starburst
Pennsylvania
The Perverse And Forbidden Fruit Of Non-Hershey’s Chocolate
Rhode Island
Reese’s Chowder Cups
South Carolina
Segregated Twix
South Dakota
Australian Tim Tams Ever Since Cindy Came Back From Her Vacation And Introduced Them To Whole State
Tennessee
Sour Giblets
Texas
Chocolate-Covered Mifepristone
Utah
Decaffeinated Whoppers
Vermont
Sap Gushers
Virginia
Swamp Brittle
Washington
AI-Generated Picture Of Junior Mints
West Virginia
Hershey’s Sister Kiss
Wisconsin
Nestlé Crunch 8% ABV
Wyoming
Geothermal Gushers
