Irish scientists believe they have discovered the most fertile Irish male, a fifth-century warlord named Niall of the Nine Hostages with over 3 million offspring worldwide. What do you think?
“These ’scientists’ can get back to me after they get fucked up and down in a dirty bathroom stall by Colin Farrell. Try, say, 9 o’clock tonight.”
Dave Riley • Medical Technician
“Yeah, I knew him. Fletcher Murphy. Skinny oik. Punched me in the neck and impregnated my sister, but who hasn’t?”
Patty Boyle • Roofer
“My wife and I share a fifth-century ancestor? Eeewww!”
D.M. Rolland • Glass Blower
