Mark Zuckerberg Worried His Metaverse Avatar Doesn’t Fully Capture How Inhuman He Looks

MENLO PARK, CA—Admitting that his virtual likeness had a long way to go before it felt like a genuine representation, Mark Zuckerberg told reporters Friday that he was worried his metaverse avatar didn’t fully capture how inhuman he looks. “While our Horizon Worlds platform is well on its way to becoming a fully immersive metaverse, my personal 3D rendering is not nearly as unnerving, uncomfortable, and unsettling as I am in real life,” said Zuckerberg, adding that his avatar had several distracting differences, including eyes that were unrealistically lively, a smile that was far too genuine, and body language that was unnaturally friendly and welcoming. “Unfortunately, as of today, my digital persona is nowhere near where it needs to be, and engineers are working around the clock to make an updated version that appears more bloodless, and is able to better mirror my butchered haircut, soulless facial expression, and perpetual uncomfortable slouch. When I look at him now, I’m endeared by him, and almost want to be his friend. Essentially, we have to start from scratch.” At press time, Zuckerberg took several minutes to congratulate his engineers on their decision to eliminate the lower half of his avatar’s body, saying it fully captured how sexless he was in real life.