Man Shell Of Imagined Self

NEW YORK—Saying that when he looked in the mirror, he no longer saw the man he once deceived himself to be, local man Ron Stockton, 37, told reporters Monday that over the years he had become just a shell of his imagined self. “Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of my [wholly invented] purpose, and the [completely untenable] dreams I had just slipped away,” said Stockton, who added that he worried he was failing to maintain the deep sense of personal integrity he had never actually managed to develop in the first place. “I don’t know what became of that [nonexistent hallucination of a] person I once was, that person who [I thoroughly deluded myself into believing] had so much promise. I honestly don’t understand what happened.” At press time, Stockton reported that he was feeling much better after taking some time to think things over, getting a good night’s sleep, waking up early the next day, and joining a cult.