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Man Always Three Ingredients Away From Making Pancakes

BOISE, ID—In spite of the numerous times he’s craved pancakes during the past year, Mike Herrin, 26, always finds himself three ingredients shy of being able to make the breakfast food. “I woke up this morning just dying for a big mug of coffee and a stack of pancakes,” Herrin said Sunday. “This time, I knew I had milk, eggs, and even sugar. But of course there was no baking powder or flour, and I was out of salt.” Herrin then stared longingly at the dust-covered bottle of Mrs. Butterworth’s in the back of the cupboard for a moment before slamming the door shut.




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper