Man A Little Insulted By How Unthreatened Woman Walking Alone In Front Of Him Seems

MOUNT PLEASANT, SC—Remarking that at the very least she should have begun to fear for her safety, local man James Weir told reporters this week that he was a little insulted by how unthreatened the woman walking alone in front of him seemed. “I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help but feel a little weird about the fact that I was following a woman at night on an empty street and she didn’t once look back in fear, cross the street, or pick up the pace,” said Weir, adding that no matter how fast he walked, how much he coughed, or how much he fiddled with his pockets, the woman’s calm demeanor stayed exactly the same. “Seriously, I know I’m not the toughest looking guy, but do I really look so nice that she felt safe at 1 a.m., alone, in a weird part of town? I should at least look scary enough to have made her get out her pepper spray or get her phone ready to dial 9-1-1. Like, come on! She should be a little freaked out. I’m not that nice.” At press time, Weir confirmed that he couldn’t help but feel offended after the woman he was following turned around, told him he looked like a sweet guy, and proceeded to mug him at gunpoint.