Lululemon Executives Furious After Focus Group Leaves Product Testing With Self-Esteem Intact

VANCOUVER—Conceding that they would have to go back to the drawing board and start over with a new approach, executives for the fashion brand Lululemon were reportedly furious Tuesday after a focus group left a testing session for a new line of women’s clothing with their self-esteem fully intact. “Great, six months spent working on a redesign of the ‘Drop It Low Shorts’ for nothing,” said marketing director Adam Prosser, who reportedly shook his head in disgust and walked angrily out of a meeting after watching footage of the group feedback session in which women of various ages and sizes all smiled and displayed a positive attitude, without a single one stating that the form-fitting, lightweight shorts probably weren’t meant for their body shape. “We’re going to have to throw everything out and start from scratch. This is a disaster—not even one of the subjects sighed loudly and slumped her shoulders after putting on our product and looking at herself in the mirror or at the other women in the group. How did we screw up so badly?” Sources confirmed that the team of executives decided to address the problem by recruiting several exceptionally toned and slender models for the upcoming ad campaign, cropping all product shots tight on the models’ backsides, and launching with a new “You. Perfected.” tagline.