Liver Flees George Jones' Body

NASHVILLE, TN—After more than 40 years of absorbing vast quantities of hard alcohol, George Jones’ liver finally fled the famed country singer’s body Monday. “I can’t take it anymore,” the liver said. “A liver can only process so many toxins before it says to hell with it.” Jones’ liver absorbed its final drink early Monday morning, a bourbon and branch water that Jones had with some eggs for breakfast. Until it can find a place of its own, Jones’ liver plans to share an apartment with Merle Haggard’s liver and Hank Williams Jr.’s lungs.