With LeBron James winning his fourth MVP award, Onion Sports examines the greatest moments from the superstar’s career up to this point.
1991: In wake of humiliating defeat on playground basketball court, vows he will someday become second-greatest basketball player of all time
July 8, 1992: After wasting seven years of life in dysfunctional household, abruptly abandons mother to join other family with better basketball program
1996: Named to the NBA’s “50 Greatest Players of All Time” list
2002: Becomes youngest high school basketball player to be featured on cover of Fangoria
2003: After being drafted by the Cleveland Cavaliers, manages to mask his shout of “fuck!” to sound like a cough
2008: Wins $5.4 million settlement from YouTube user cavsfan99 who uploaded a compilation of LeBron James dunks without permission
2009: Switches number from 23 to 6 out of respect for his jersey sales
July 8, 2010: Orchestrates “The Decision,” a wicked satire of the sports media’s penchant for manufactured drama and inane commentary
July 9, 2010: Quietly relocates to Miami
2011: Devotes grueling offseason to making self more likable
2013: Manages to make it through another day blocking out the thought of Delonte West fucking his mom
