If you’re in the market for an adorable mummy or a fun-loving ghost, turn back now, because the following Halloween movies for children are actually terrifying.
Vampire Academy
This teen flick isn’t easy to stomach, even if you ignore the horrific fact that it was distributed by The Weinstein Company.
Ernest Scared Stupid
Jim Varney was only 50 years old when he died, which really isn’t that much older than you are now. Just something to think about.
Casper
Though he is indeed a friendly ghost, Casper’s very existence reveals that death is no release from the torments of the world, and even the grave holds no relief.
Double, Double, Toil And Trouble
Even a cursory look at how the world began treating the Olsen twins after they grew up should be enough to strike fear in the heart of even the most hardened horror movie fan.
Children Of The Corn
Hey, it had “children” in the title. How the hell were we supposed to know?
Hocus Pocus
Two of the three female leads were older than 35 when this movie came out.
Spooky Buddies
This chapter of the Air Bud franchise was so scary to focus groups that it had to be released straight to DVD.
Hotel Transylvania
The scariest part about this movie about Dracula’s faraway resort for monsters is how low the bar for children’s entertainment is.
Ghostbusters
Sigourney Weaver’s character being able to afford a Central Park West apartment on a musician’s salary as recently as the 1980s exposes viewers to the unfathomable horrors of the current New York City real estate market.
Frankenweenie
In the first act, a dog gets hit by a car, and we couldn’t even finish the rest.
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit
Intended to be just a bit of stop-motion Halloween fun, many kids left the movie screaming after being exposed to British humor for the first time.
Titanic
Not everyone’s Halloween traditions are the same as yours, okay?
Halloweentown
Nothing is more horrifying than seeing the great Debbie Reynolds reduced to a Disney Channel original movie.
The Dog Who Saved Halloween
You just know those dogs were their owner’s only income until the day they died.
Bedknobs And Broomsticks
What seems like a magical movie at first gets frightening when children realize they’re watching something from 50 years ago.
Happy Halloween, Scooby Doo!
What’s more terrifying than Casey Kasem being dead, but Shaggy’s IP lingering on forever?
Dear Dracula
A seemingly innocent movie about a boy who writes a fan letter to Dracula takes a terrifying turn after the actor voicing the vampire is revealed to be Ray Liotta.
The Haunted Mansion
This film still haunts kids’ nightmares with its casting of an unfunny Eddie Murphy 30 years past his comedic prime.
The Human Centipede
Oh, Christ, who put this on? Where’s the remote? Oh, God, no.
