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‘Keep Going,’ Says Restaurant Patron Watching Server Out Of Cheese Start To Grate Hand

SANTA BARBARA, CA—Remarking on how fresh everything looked at the local establishment, a patron at Toma Restaurant and Bar reportedly told his server Friday to “keep going” as he watched the employee run out of cheese and begin to grate the flesh of his hand. “More, please—I’ll tell you when,” said the diner, Larry Nesbitt, who licked his lips as the server continued to work the fine microplane past the last bit of Parmesan rind and onto his fingertips, smiling politely as his skin, muscle, and bone began flaking off into a bloody mound atop the customer’s plate. “It really complements the dish, don’t you think? I certainly wouldn’t want a tomato and arugula flatbread that skimps on the cuticle. Mmm…is that knuckle? I’d love some more that. Do continue!” At press time, Nesbitt was overheard saying, “That’s perfect,” after the server had finished grating his entire body into a flavorful entrée topping.




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