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Justice Department Allegedly Demands Sale Of CNN

The Department of Justice has reportedly demanded Time-Warner sell off CNN before merging with AT&T, a move some have attributed to President Trump’s anger at the news network. What do you think?

Miles Ridge • Kitchen Tiler

“It’s kind of nice to see the Justice Department do something besides curtailing voting rights.”

Miles Ridge • Kitchen Tiler

Erica Vaughn • Chandlery Clerk

“The blockbuster talent of Anderson Cooper and Wolf Blitzer at one network should never have been legal in the first place.”

Erica Vaughn • Chandlery Clerk

Albert Fassola • Campanile Attendant

“Finally, an engagement gift worthy of my darling Jessica!”

Albert Fassola • Campanile Attendant




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper