Journalist Worried He’s Becoming The Story In His Sponsored Air Purifier Review

NEW YORK—Struggling to remain detached from his subject matter, local journalist James Malvern was reportedly worried Tuesday that he was becoming the story in his sponsored air purifier review. “While I set out to write a simple recommendation of the Air Fine 2700 to our readers, I couldn’t help but start interrogating my own personal relationship to germs and dander,” said Malvern, explaining that he no longer felt any kind of objectivity was possible in his paid blog post, which had turned into a meditation on his subjective experience with the filtration product written in the style of such New Journalism luminaries as Truman Capote, Joan Didion, and Gay Talese. “I’m afraid I’m too close to all this now to be a neutral observer. The story is about more than just a machine that effectively removes up to 97% of airborne particles, including pollen and mold spores—it’s about who cleans up all the dust and decay the American empire leaves behind in its wake.” At press time, sources confirmed Malvern had submitted a 50,000-word draft and was immediately fired.