Ravens Head Coach
Strength: Marginally less of an asshole than his asshole brother; Incredibly mobile on the sideline; Received better genetic balance between his father’s competitiveness and his mother’s ability not to whine and tantrum and throw fits
Weakness: Always calls his brother before big games to wish him good luck and tell him every detail of the Ravens’ weekly game plan; Never worked up the courage to tell Ray Lewis what to do; Has thing for shitty quarterbacks
Favorite Medium For Drawing Up New Plays: Watercolors
Style: Blue-collar lunkhead
Most Annoying Habit: Constantly asks referee how much time is left in the game
Shouting Style: Explosive
Strategy: Let 49ers win so Jim doesn’t act like a complete fucking baby for the rest of his life
