Jason Collins Just Might Be Frontcourt Presence Team Trying To Boost Media Coverage Needs

WASHINGTON—NBA analyst Bruce Bowen reportedly suggested Friday that openly gay free agent center Jason Collins just might be the perfect frontcourt presence for a team needing to instantly boost media coverage. “Jason Collins is a savvy, veteran center who can immediately contribute to increasing a team’s public visibility,” said Bowen, adding that the 34-year-old homosexual basketball player really shines in the middle of press conferences. “Collins would be a great pickup for teams like the Milwaukee Bucks or Sacramento Kings that are lacking a big man who can dominate in the postgame interview.” Bowen acknowledged that signing Collins would be potentially risky, claiming that the move would significantly hurt any team’s depth at center.




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper