It Doesn't Look That Cold Out, Reports Man Who Doesn't Have Thermo-Sensing Eyes

BUFFALO, NY—According to 33-year-old Sam Paik, whose ocular capacity does not include the ability to visualize the heat spectrum, it doesn’t look cold outside. “Looks nice out,” said the man, whose retinas are not embedded with silicon bandgap transducers capable of relaying precise temperature readings to an integrated circuit. “I don’t think you’ll need a coat.” Paik, who does not have cancer-hearing ears, also told friends that he had recently spoken to his grandmother and she sounded fine.