The Chicago “L” began operating 125 years ago today and became the nation’s first rapid transit system. The Onion looks back on some of the most important innovations in the history of public transportation.
980 B.C.
Mongolian village installs hop-on/hop-off horse to walk up and down main road all day
1897
Boston constructs the country’s first public subway system in effort to give residents easier access to diseased rodents
1910
Japan’s first bullet cable car, capable of traveling from downtown Tokyo to the surrounding fishing villages in seconds flat, begins operating
1959
Disneyland comes under fire after the completion of its monorail system leads to the rapid gentrification of Main Street, U.S.A.
1973
Budget cuts force New York’s MTA to lay off hundreds of flutists in favor of prerecorded door closing signals
1981
After decades of stalled progress, signaling-bus-driver-to-stop technology makes seismic leap with the advent of tape you can press
1998
The introduction of the party bus leads to the decline of gas-guzzling cars with stripper poles and mini fridges in them
2012
Cousin says you can use some tram system called the FRAN when you come visit
2013
New apps help users figure out just how fucked their bus ride home is going to be
2017
Downtown local train dispatched in 1956 arrives at Penn Station
