,

How To Avoid Distraction While Working Online

Abandoning all interest in current events or your loved ones’ lives is the first step in avoiding the distractions of the internet, though it’s advisable never to have been interested in those things to begin with.

Opt for a dial-up connection, which will help make diversions like checking Facebook a literal impossibility.

Outsourcing tasks might be your best option. Hire someone to surf the internet, post their vacation photos, and read friends’ updates while you finish your assignments.

Try getting as much of your work done offline before publishing it on JetFuelCantMeltSteelBeams.com.

Remember that when you apply yourself, there’s always enough time for both work and amusement. Pull the office fire alarm and discreetly check your favorite sites as everyone’s filing down the stairwell.

Brought to you by Intel




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper