How Democrats Are Preparing For Their First Debate

The first Democratic presidential debate will be held Tuesday, and the candidates are expected to battle it out over issues as wide-ranging as gun control, climate change, and wealth inequality in America. Here’s how the candidates are preparing for the debate:

Bernie Sanders repeatedly reminded not to point scolding finger directly into camera

Hillary Clinton and Super PAC director meeting on back-to-back park benches to hammer out last-minute details

Advisers submitting Jim Webb to a session of rapid-fire, hard-hitting questions about where he came from and why he’s here

Martin O’Malley scrambling to turn Baltimore into peaceful utopia by Tuesday night

Sanders carefully preparing to field questions about his 14-year tenure as head of Lehman Brothers

Lincoln Chafee continually reminding self he only 0.6 percent away from fourth place

Clinton put through a few warmup rounds with over-caffeinated Richard Dreyfuss

John Kerry giving Jim Webb some pointers on downplaying an accomplished military career and service in Vietnam

Stylists procuring balloon to rub against Sanders’ hair moments before debate begins

Clinton preparing to show off fun, spontaneous side by opening with joke she has been rehearsing for seven months




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper