On Wednesday, the Federal Trade Commission and 48 state attorneys general filed a massive antitrust lawsuit against Facebook. The Onion looks at some allegations, demands, and other highlights from the lawsuit.
Argues all social media companies deserve fair and equal shot at dismantling democracy.
Floats requiring Facebook to notify state officials of any future acquisitions over $10 million so they have enough time to buy stock.
Invitation to like official “48 U.S. Attorneys General Suing Facebook” page.
Admonishes Mark Zuckerberg for repeatedly interrupting hearing with bids to purchase the FTC.
Promises to drop lawsuit immediately if Facebook just turns Instagram’s algorithm back to showing photos chronologically
Notes Facebook’s lead counsel is credited with co-writing the Patriot Act, in case you’re wondering who to root for.
Condemns Facebook’s monopolistic behavior like buying Instagram with FTC approval.
Alleges harm to thousands of developers who didn’t have fighting chance of starting own unaccountable panopticons.
Acknowledgment that this lawsuit about six years too late.
