Hannah Storm On What She’s Learned From Interviewing NFL Players: ‘They’re Idiots’

BRISTOL, CT—Claiming that the interviews during the NFL Face To Face series were very enlightening, SportsCenter anchor Hannah Storm revealed Monday that the in-depth conversations with NFL superstars taught her that professional football players are complete idiots. “When you sit down and really talk to a NFL player, you see right away that they are just dumb as fuck,” said Storm, adding that the dipshits elaborated on their goals, feelings, and passions with a series of incoherent and incredibly moronic statements. “As individuals, each of them shared their amazingly stupid thoughts on a number of topics, which provided a unique insight into an uneducated jerk.” Storm told reporters that despite their talent and physical prowess, NFL players are really no different from the average American imbecile.